Fake Holidays and the Real Thing

Art by Robin M. Weare, 1995. May be distributed freely, but not sold, with acknowledgement of source and artist.

A Real Dog Holiday
Now Frances is starting preparations for Hecate's birthday August 13, which at least has the distinction of being a true dog celebration. Hecate is the goddess of dogs, crossroads, and practitioners of the occult arts. Lately she's been very busy hovering over the Center for Animal Care and Control collecting the souls of all the unwanted dogs murdered there. They go off to Hecate's dog herd and they all haunt and harass dog haters and animal abusers. Occasionally, they still spook the folks who live in the townhouses built on the site of the S4th St dog run. That is the residual effect of a spell Frances, Whoopy, and I cast on Hecate's birthday three years ago. We must have done something wrong because all we got was the dog playpen in McCarren Park. Hell, I'm glad for it, especially on these hot nights. Frances takes me late. The "dog run," an enclosed space at the south border of the park has a reputation for being an after-hours canine hot spot, but so far I haven't seen much action there after midnight, just a drunk breaking bottle. Frances said, "Otto, let's get out of here." We did.

©1997 Frances Chapman/ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Select Image to see 213K JPEG picture

Frances has not yet decided where to hold the annual celebration in honor of the dog goddess. The S4th St dog run, site of the first annual Hecate's Birthday celebration, is no more. The Grand Street waterfront, site of the second annual Hecate's Birthday celebration, is closed for "renovation." Stop by B.Q.E. Pet Food and Grooming to find out whether we're going back to the spot where we held the celebration last year. If you want to hold your own private celebration, a few candles--black and white-- white wine, a little cypress for incense, throw them all together and owners and dogs will be blessed for the whole year long.

An Ounce of Prevention
As for National Dog Bite Prevention Week, sponsored by the Humane Society of the United States, I was upset that there was only passing mention of what human puppies can do to reduce their chances of getting bit by a dog. (Also, the shocking statistics about dog bites should be put into the context of the violence you humans inflict on yourselves and your children.) We dogs see human puppies as little unpredictable creatures who are still powerfully human. If their parents have trained them to be calm around dogs, some of us dogs are able to endure petting, but a hyper dog like Whoopy could lose it, if a child runs up to her. That's why Frances always pulls Whoopy across the street when there are children around. Frances also tries not to subject Whoopy to skateboarders and rollerbladers. I'm pretty laid back. A child learning to ride a two-wheeler once ran right into me as I was calmly waiting to proceed on my walk. I took the hit without emitting the slightest growl. Whoopy might have snapped out of fear. She also hates it when folks walk up behind her and Frances. Humans should give dogs room.

Some basic rules:
• Before petting someone's dog, ask the owner's permission. Frances usually tells people I'm friendly. If children are being silly, Frances usually tells them that I only bite bad children. When being introduced to a dog for the first time, let the dog sniff the back of your hand to get a whiff of you. Don't try to shake my paw. There's too much Williamsburg broken glass splinters in my old pads and it hurts when you hold my paw.
• If a local homeless dog approaches you, stand still and quiet with your hands at your sides. You might also consider putting food and water out for him and her.
• Don't run past a dog. Joggers should consider running a wide circle around a dog walking with an owner, or maybe slowing down to a walk temporarily. Same applies, even more so, to rollerbladers.
• Teach human puppies not to tease us dogs, or cats either.

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