Humilin-N-12

So you would think living at the B.Q.E. aka B.A.R.C. headquarters is a glamorous chi, chi job? Well, let me tell you. If anyone remembers my column "Move Over Lassie" in the first Waterfront Week dog days issue three years ago (not 2 years ago when I was cover dog), I was a little starstruck. Well, my acting career was over, halted, kaput due to a tail shaving for a hot spot! No new fall line-up for Ralph. Last year, it was an eye problem. Take it out, leave it in, glass, plastic. Oh, who the hell knows. There went my contract with K9 Quarterly. I lost my Armani leash and collar.

Now, this year, it's insulin city for me. Yes, I am a diabetic.

So first I hear Dr Felton say we test for ketones then we see if he can have pigs ears or he gets insulin. Ha, like my life is not hard enough. It's clear to me where this is going, so I get her in the hall, and after a long negotiation, she settles for $45 cash a week and "I tell them you can have pigs ears." She drives a hard bargain, that medicine woman.

Now, once that was over, I have to teach that knucklehead Vinnie how to regulate the damn insulin. So we start 8 AM/8 PM dosing. Simple, right? If I don't get his ass out of bed in the morning, I would be in a friggin' coma. I got to remind him every morning, and every night now that my human buddies hang out in the warehouse in the evening.

Now I can't test new products, not that I don't want too. My SSI checks don't pay the bills, so I am seeking new employment. I have been asked to come out of retirement to do a new show made for HBO. It's a father role. The father's estranged puppy goes nasty and joins a pack of Navy Yard dogs. We'll see where this gets me. Till next time, stay cool these dog days of summer.

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Other

Other Barks and Growls

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OTTO COLUMN NEWS BARC HOMEPAGE


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Veron Cruise veron@bigfoot.com